Okay, so I keep seeing this ad for Jif peanut butter, and it pisses me off every single time. It's the ad where a cute little pigtailed girl is having a sleepover with her friend, and she holds up a game and says, "What about Crazy Eights?" And her listless friend just sighs and says, "Nah." Then Pigtails holds up a video and says, "We could watch this Princess Moonfire tape." And Listless Friend says, "Maybe a sleepover was a bad idea."
You ungrateful bitch. You're an eight-year-old at a sleepover; what do you expect, afterhours at the Red Room and then a Chippendale's show? This litle girl is doing her damndest to entertain your thankless ass, and you just keep rolling your eyes and shooting her down while offering no suggestions yourself. Eventually, thank Elvis, Pigtails is able to appease Your Highness with a peanut butter sandwich, but she's a bigger woman than I; from me, you wouldn't get more than, "You can always march your happy self back home, and I can invite someone who wasn't raised in a barn, bitch." It's called etiquette, kid, and being a gracious houseguest. Ask your parents; it's their job to teach you that stuff anyway.
Some things bother me too much.
Note: On the other hand, the new Petsmart ad campaign? The one with the little Dachshund and Bobo, his little stuffed Dachshund best friend, and the one with Great Dane who sits obediently as a toddler seductively eats an ice cream cone? Adorable yet inspired. For seroius.
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